Demon: The Disciples Could not Drive out the Demon

Ralph -- (enters, feeling his way along, stops) This place is creepy. I can't see a thing. Are you sure he's in here?

Maury -- (enters, feels his way along, feels high and low) Yeah, his mother said top of the stairs, first door on the left. (bumps Ralph) Well, what are you waiting for? Let's heal him.

Ralph -- She said the boy was demon possessed.

Maury -- Silly goose! He's only a little boy. How dangerous could the demon be? Come on. (leads, feeling the way)

Ralph -- Wait for me! (feeling the way) Maury!

Maury -- What.

Ralph -- Where are you?

Demon -- (small boy enters, stands expressionless, closed-mouthed, deep bass voiceover) He's right over here.

Maury -- (finds Maury) Oh, thank you.

Demon -- Your welcome.

Ralph -- Maury?

Maury -- Yeah.

Ralph -- Who was that?

Maury -- That was him.

Ralph -- Him? Him Whom?

Maury -- The kid.

Ralph -- Maury, that was no kid. That was a...

BOTH --- (scream)

Maury -- Let's get out of here!

Ralph -- Which way is out?

Maury -- What difference does it make? Lets just go.

Ralph -- What difference does it make? We don't want to get any closer to... that!

Maury -- Wait. Let's not panic. We came here to drive out a demon. Let's drive out a demon. Go ahead and light the lamp.

Ralph -- I didn't bring the lamp. I thought you brought the lamp.

Maury -- That's okay. I'm not sure I want to look him in the face anyway.

Demon -- What are you doing here?

Maury -- Ah, we're disciples of Jesus and we we came here to ah,... drive out a demon.

Ralph -- ...if it's alright with you.

Demon -- (growls)

Ralph -- I don't think it's alright with him, Maury.

Maury -- We don't need his permission, Ralph. He's just a demon, remember?

Demon -- (growls)

Ralph -- Don't make him angry, Maury.

Maury -- What are you saying, Ralph? We're Christians. Jesus gave us authority to drive out demons. You can't hurt us, you big stupid demon.

Demon -- (growls) You little pip squeak. I'll squash you like a bug.

Ralph -- Is it really necessary make him mad, Maury? Nice demon. Nice demon.

Demon -- (growls)

Maury -- Alright, demon, you asked for it. Now you've made me mad. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. Now come out of that little boy!

Demon -- (growls)

Ralph -- What happened, Maury? That rebuking stuff always worked before. Maybe he didn't hear you.

Maury -- (clears throat) I rebuke you in the name of Jesus.

Demon -- (growls)

Maury -- This doesn't seem to be working, Ralph. Maybe we should look it up in the manual.

Ralph -- It's too dark in here to read the manual, Maury.

Maury -- Oh, yeah. Well, it's a good thing we're Christian's, because demons don't have any control over us.

Demon -- Oh, yeah? Does it feel a little cool in here, Ralph? (boy points at Ralph)

Ralph -- (shivers, rubs arms) You know, now that you mention it, it does seem a little chilly. I should of brought a sweater.

Maury -- Ralph, can't you see what he's doing? He doesn't have any control over us. Demons are liars and deceivers. He's just using the power of suggestion on you.

Demon -- That's a terrible case of poison ivy you have there, Maury. (boy points at Maury)

Maury -- (scratches forearm) Where in the world would I get poison ivy from? (scratches all over) Ralph, did we walk through any weeds to get here?

Ralph -- (shivering) Maury, I think you're right. I think this is all just the power of suggestion. But why am I so cold?

Maury -- (scratching frantically) I know what he's doing. He's just trying to distract us from our original mission, and that was to drive out a demon. Ralph, could you just scratch (points) right here, right in the middle of my back. I can't reach.

Ralph -- Sure, Maury. (scratches)

Maury -- (scratching) Fortunately for us, Ralph, Jesus said he'd be stopping by here to see how we did.

Ralph -- (shivering, rubbing) He is? He's coming here?

Maury -- (scratching) Yeah.

Ralph -- I hope he brings a jacket. It's cold in here.

Jesus -- (enters) You have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Maury -- Listen, Jesus, could you just scratching me, right here on my shoulder blade? (points)

Jesus -- Ye of little faith. I rebuke this demon in the name of God. (boys runs to Jesus with opens arms and a bright smile)

Ralph -- Well, somebody finally turned the heat on.

Maury -- Hey, look my poison ivy is gone.

Jesus -- So is the demon. Let's give this boy back to his mother. (guides boy to exit)

Ralph -- (follows) Listen, Jesus, nobody has to know that we couldn't drive out the demon ourselves, do they? (exits, scratching)

Maury -- (follows, shivering, rubbing arms) Say, is it just me or is it getting a little chilly in here? (exits)

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