Beggar: Peter and John Heal a Blind Beggar.

John --- (enters, limping) My feet are killing me.

Peter -- (enters, rubbing abdomen) This was a dumb idea, John.

John --- (sits on rock DC, rubs feet) What do you mean, Peter?

Peter -- Not taking any food with us. I'm hungry! (looks around rock) There's not even any wild berries around here.

John --- The Lord told us not to take any money or food with us. Consider it a test of your faith.

Peter -- Look who's talking. We came out here to heal people and you're pulling up lame.

John --- Very funny. When do we get to the next town?

Peter -- We must be getting close. (points offstage) There's blind man up ahead. Blind people usually don't wander too far from home.

John --- A blind man? (stands) Oh, good. I'll heal him. (moves toward exit)

Peter -- (grabs John's arms) No, I'll heal him.

John --- (pushes Peter back) Oh, Contraire, mon frare. This one is definitely for me.

Peter -- You healed the last blind man.

John --- Yes, but I'm better at healing blind people than you.

Peter -- Oh, look at the specialized healing professional. I could heal this blind guy with one hand tied behind my back.

John --- Well, mister modest, I could heal him with both hands behind my back.

(thunder)

Peter -- What was that?

John --- You mean, 'WHO was that?'

Peter -- Oh, oh.

John --- Is that you, Lord?

God ---- (Deep base voiceover, with echoes) I am.

Peter -- You are what?

John --- Shhhhhhh, Peter, that's his name. Remember the burning bush?

Peter -- I am. Oh, yeah! (waves at the sky) So, ah, what's happening', God?

God ---- Who will heal this blind man?

Peter & John -- I will.

Peter -- Excuse me, but it's my turn.

John --- Excuse me, but I have more experience at healing blind people.

(thunder)

Peter -- Oh, oh.

John --- You're absolutely right, Lord, I humble myself before you. Peter, YOU go ahead and heal him.

Peter -- I am the servant of all and I will let YOU heal this one, John.

John --- No, I insist. YOU heal him.

Peter -- No, John, YOU can heal him.

John --- Don't tell me what to do. You're not my boss.

Peter -- You're not the boss either.

(thunder)

Peter -- Oh, oh.

John --- Sorry, Lord.

God ---- Who will to heal this blind man?

Peter -- We can't agree on anything today, Lord. Maybe YOU should decide for us.

(thunder)

John --- You're making him mad, Peter. Maybe we're supposed to know who will heal the blind man.

Peter -- Could you give us a hint, Lord?

(thunder)

Peter -- I guess that's a NO.

John --- Maybe neither one of will heal him.

Peter -- If we don't, who will?

God ---- I am.

Peter -- That's not very good grammar, Lord. What you want to say is 'I WILL'.

(thunder)

Peter -- Or not.

John --- Can't you see what he's telling us, Peter?

Peter -- Yes, he's telling us he doesn't like a little criticism.

John --- No, you and I think that just because we do the laying on of hands, we do the healing. But the healing comes from God.

Peter -- Yeah, but I'm the one who has the faith.

(thunder)

Peter -- But then, of course, the faith comes from you also, right, Lord?

John --- Now, that we know who really does the healing, let's get to work. (exits)

Peter -- (hands on hips) Who died and made you boss?

(Thunder)

Peter -- (cringes, scampers to exit) You're right, let's get to work.

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