Backsliding: Is Jesus on the Throne? (Monologue)

(scene: one chair -- light weight or on casters -- and end table with lamp, phone, TV remote control DL)

She -- (enters smiling and looking up) Lord, I am so glad that I made that commitment to you. I want you to be the Lord of my life. (moving chair to C) I want you to rule everything in my life. I want your throne to be in the middle of my house. (motions toward chair invitingly)

(to self) Oh. Speaking of the center of my house, I'm having a party here tomorrow night! (to God) Do you like parties, Lord? I love parties! There will be lots of food and drinks and...

(moving chair to L) Oh. Dancing. Your throne is right in the middle of the dance floor, Lord! I'll just put you right here on the edge of the dance floor where you'll have a ring side seat. No cover charge. (laughs)

(stops) Oh. Now that I think about it Lord, the way some of my friends dance is like a pagan fertility ritual. (turns chair toward exit) You don't want to look at that, do you, Lord?

(moving chair back to DL, next to end table) I have an idea. I'll put your throne in front of the television set. I have cable. (laughs, picks up remote control, clicks) Oh, look! This is my favorite TV show! Have you seen this one, Lord? It's about these three boys and three girls who live together in this big house. (watches TV on audience back wall, fascinated) It's all about who's sleeping with who. And they have this funny neighbor who's gay and he's always making a play for one of the three boys...

(realization, clicks remote control, turns chair away from audience) On second thought, Lord, I'm not sure you would want to watch TV. Let's see. Where can I put your throne so that everyone at the party will be able to meet you. I'm really excited about telling people about you.

(moving chair to R) I know! We'll put your throne in the kitchen! Sooner or later everybody at the party comes out to the kitchen to get something to eat and something to drink.

(reverses direction) On second thought, most of my friends get drunk at parties. I can't have you meeting drunk people, can I, Lord? I know! I'll call Brandon. Brandon lives next door. I'll call Brandon and ask him to have the party at his house.

(picks up phone, dialing) I mean, it's not that much of an imposition. I've already bought all the food and drinks. Besides, Brandon owes me a favor. (to phone) Hi, babe, it's me. I wonder if you would be a darling and do me a teensy weensy little favor. (pause) Well, would you be just a sweetie and have the party at your place tomorrow night? (pause) Why? (glances up) Well, it's a little hard to explain. I just can't have it here that's all. Listen, I bought all the food and drinks. I swear I'll stay after the party and help you clean up.

(playfully) Brandon! You shouldn't say things like that on the phone! (pause) Well, sure I love you, babe. (pause, playfully) Well, I'm sure we can work something out. So, you'll do it? The party, Brandon! (laughs, realization) Oh, ah, listen, Brandon, I... I've got to go. No. I got to go. (turns away) Yes, there's someone here. Alright, I'll come over and... and... (glances up) we'll go over the party plans together. (warmly) Yeah, bye. (hangs up)

(looks up) I know what you're thinking, Lord. Now that I'm a Christian, I'm unequally yoked with an unbeliever. I realize that. But this will give me a chance to witness to him.

(moving chair to C) And besides, now the party won't keep you from being the center of my life again. And now we're back to plan "A", Lord. Your throne is in the center of my house.

(exiting) Have fun, Lord! I'm going over to Brandon's place.

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