Audition: An Audition for the Part of Judas

Director -- (shouts to off stage) Send in the next applicant.

Bob -- (enters, hands A his resume) Hello.

Director -- (stands shakes hands) Hi, I'm the casting director for Yahweh productions. Nice to meet you Mr. (looks at resume) Johnson. Well, I see by your resume that you have a lot of acting experience.

Bob -- Yes, I'd like to read for the part of the head apostle.

Director -- Oh, I'm sorry, but we've already cast a fisherman named Peter for that role.

Bob -- Oh, really?! Are you sure it's not too late? I saw the role of the head apostle as the arrogant loud-mouth. I do that role really well.

Director -- I'm sorry, Peter is a perfect arrogant loud-mouth. I'm sure Jesus will love him.

Bob -- Bummer. Well, what about other roles are you casting, then? What about the warm hearted sidekick apostle, the one who has to write a gospel and several epistles?

Director -- Sorry, we cast a fellow named John in that role. In fact, we've cast all the apostles, except the role of the one who betrays Jesus.

Bob -- Oh, you didn't describe him in your ad.

Director -- It's not a big part, but it is pivotal to the plot.

Bob -- Does he have any lines that will end up in the Bible?

Director -- A few.

Bob -- Do you mind if I read for that role, then?

Director -- Not at all. For some reason, nobody else wants the part.

(hands Bob a script)

Here, read the highlighted response where the prostitute pours perfume on Jesus' feet.

Bob -- Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor?

Director -- Good. Skip to page two, the conversation with temple leaders.

Bob -- What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?

Director -- Good.

Bob -- All I get is one line per scene?

Director -- Skip to page four, where the Jesus says, "woe to the man who betrays the son of man"

Bob -- Surely not I, Lord!

Surely not I, Lord? Don't I have any lines longer than ten words?

Director -- Now, the scene where you betray Jesus, page 36.

Bob -- Greetings, Rabbi.

Greetings, Rabbi? This guy is a man of few words.

Director -- And, finally, the scene where you go back to the temple and tell them you made a mistake by selling out the Son of God.

Bob -- I have sinned, for I have betrayed innocent blood.

Director -- Good, you've got the part.

Bob -- No, thanks.

Director -- But, you were made for the part. Listen, without you to betray him, he can't die for our sins. He needs you to do this.

Bob -- It says here that I go out and kill myself. Gruesome! No, thanks! (stands)

Director -- (stands) Hold on, Mr...... Johnson. You know, less than half of the apostles have speaking parts. This part is a real prize.

Bob -- No, thanks!

Director -- How many people do you know who get a role as a friend of the Messiah?

Bob -- Who'd be dumb enough to want the role that would land them in hell for eternity?

Goofy -- (enters) Hiuck, hiuck, is this where I get to be an apostle?

Director & Bob -- Perfect!

Bob -- Sign him up!

©2001 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.fea.net/bobsnook  email: bobsnook@fea.net
(clicking the above link will leave this site)