Adultery: To Have and to Hold Until...

Rev. -- (pastor enters, carrying Bible, crosses casually to C)

(music cue: wedding march)

Bob & Amy -- (enter from opposite exits, walk slowly to C, clasp hands)

Rev. -- Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God to join this man and this woman in the holy state of matrimony. For this ceremony the bride and groom have chosen to write there own marriage vows. Amy?

Amy -- I Amy take you Bob to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love and to cherish as much as my career and hobbies will allow.

Rev. -- Excuse me, but what kind of a commitment is that?

Amy -- Well, Bob and I have discussed this marriage thoroughly. We decided that the reason that half of all marriages end in divorce is because people demand way too much of each other. We didn't want marriage to be such a big burden.

Rev. -- Uh huh.

Amy -- (long pause) It's Bob's turn.

Rev. -- Yes. Yes, of course. Bob?

Bob -- I Bob take you Amy to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, to love and to cherish and to respect your space and your freedom as long as we both shall live...

Rev. -- (raises finger, ready to speak)

Bob -- However, when your beauty begins to fade or if childbearing makes you less attractive or if our bedroom life becomes monotonous, I reserve the right to take up relations with another partner, provided that she's more attractive than you.

Rev. -- (clears throat) Listen, I think it's very commendable of you both to be so thoughtful of your forthcoming union that you wrote your own vows. But, the Lord demands more of a marriage...

Amy -- ... I tried to talk Bob out of that part about other partners, but my biological clock is ticking...

Rev. -- Marriage is more than just a license to have children...

Amy -- ... It is? But I thought...

Bob -- ... Listen, I'm just trying to be flexible.

Rev. -- Marriage was designed to be a constant reminder of the Lord's commitment to his church.

Bob & Amy -- It was?

Rev. -- Yes. He made several references to it in the Bible.

Bob -- No kidding?!

Rev. -- No kidding. Christ died for his bride, the church...

Bob -- ... Oh, you don't expect me to...

Rev. -- No. I'm not talking about shedding blood. But the Lord does expect his bride the church to be pure and holy, to take their commitment to their new life with him very seriously.

Bob -- How... seriously? (swallows)

Rev. -- He expects you to be loyal and true to each other exclusively...

Amy -- See, Bob, I told you. You need to rethink your vows.

Rev. -- So do you.

Amy -- Me? What's wrong with MY vows?

Rev. -- There's more ways to dishonor your marriage commitment than to take up with other partners.

Amy -- There is?

Rev. -- Yes. Adultery is allowing ANY outside commitment to overpower your marriage, including your hobbies and your job.

Bob -- That can't mean MY job too.

Rev. -- ANY commitment that overpowers your marriage dishonors God's commitment to his church. The Bible is full of references to God's anger when his people put ANYTHING ahead of their devotion to him.

Amy & Bob -- Oh, wow. (turn to opposite exits)

Rev. -- Where are you going?

Bob -- (turns) I'll be right back. I have to go rewrite my vows. (exits)

Amy -- Me too. (exits)

Rev. -- (to congregation) Take a break. This good take a while. (exits)

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